It's just emotions...

I have seriously got to get a grip on my emotions.  I just cried at a Disney World commercial.  I cried when I read an email today (which was, actually, emotional).  I cried this morning after I threw up.  (With good reason, I think.)

I know this is normal, but it's strange to just be going along, minding my own business when BAM!  The waterworks start.  Even if I try not to, I can't help it!

And now I have a full-blown cold, a wicked headache and I'm back on Zofran.  I went 4 days without it, but kept throwing up.  Guess I still need it!  Happy 16 weeks to me!  I'm gonna try to get a picture today to post...

Day 3...

...with no Zofran.

It's not that I can't have it, I'm just trying to wean myself off.  Day 1, Sunday, really no problem at all.  Day 2, Monday, I threw up in the morning, but then was pretty much fine the rest of the day.

Today, Day 3?  I'm not feeling so great.  But I'm also being slammed by a head cold, so that doesn't help.  I just need to get myself off this couch and into the shower and I'm sure I'll feel better.

Glad I'm off today!

spoons

Three-day weekends should be illegal.  Because I never want to go back to work after 3 days off!  But back to work I'll go (in the morning) and hey, I get Tuesday off!  Plus I'm in the office for the majority of Monday...so it won't be a stressful day.  Hopefully.

I have a sore throat right now.  :(  Really hoping it doesn't turn into anything more than that.  I gotta get some Vitamin C drops.

John and I have been so excited that lots of the shows we watch are finally back on!  True, we have to DVR a lot of them because of John's work schedule (and my sleep schedule!), but then we get to fast forward through the commercials.

I did dishes the other day, but left all the silverware because I ran out of time.  Well, I just used the last clean spoon we had left.  Guess it's time to do the silverware!  In my (our) defense, the spoons are always the first to empty out.  I've been eating lots of yogurt, and John eats lots of ice cream!  (Okay, I eat the ice cream too!!)

Washer's done.  Time to switch the laundry.  Happy end-of-the-weekend to you all!

Finally

I have finally started working on my pregnancy scrapbook.  Tonight I did 3 pages.  One was already completed.  So there are 4 pages done!  Progress...

I have finally been able to cut back on my Zofran.  In the beginning I was taking it 3 times a day.  Now I'm down to 1 pill every day and a half.  Trying to wean completely off it, but when I do I get sick.  So I guess I still need it a little!

I have finally started showing.  At first I was just kind of fat looking.  Now it's actually looking more and more like a preggo belly.  Here I am at 14 and a half weeks:

(I actually look bigger than this now, and this was less than a week ago!)

And I finally have some pants that fit!  My little sister was kind enough to let me borrow some of her maternity clothes.  Maternity pants are my new favorite.

I'm finally experiencing the heartburn and reflux that had been strangely missing from this pregnancy.  Okay, honestly I didn't miss them all that much.  But arrive they have, with a vengence.

I've finally decided I'm not going to get a flu shot.  Or attend childbirth classes.  Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.  I don't care. 

And finally, I've reached a point where I feel God is really, truly going to bless our family with this miracle of miracles growing inside me.  It's hard for me to say that, as the pain of loss still haunts me every day.  But I've finally given this baby over to God, and I know there's no better place for him or her to be!

Girls, Girls

Just browsing through some girl's names this morning.  Here's a few that I like.  (None have been run by John yet!)

• Sadie
• Reagan
• Emma
• Kate
• Ellie
• Lyla
• Josephine
• Charlotte?

For middle names I like either Hope or Faith, because I feel like hope and faith are the only things that got us through the past couple years.  Even when I felt like my faith was gone and there was no hope left! 

I don't particularly care for the meanings of the first names I like.  Kate means pure, but besides that, nothing great.  I'm trying to decide if that matters to me or not, since the middle names will have obvious meaning.  The names that mean something great...I don't care for the name.  :)

We've got a long road ahead if we have a girl!

No change

I was waiting until my appointment Monday to see if my doctor wanted to change my due date to what my latest ultrasound indicated.  She didn't.  So we're sticking with St. Patty's Day!  Which is fine...I just hope my baby measuring bigger isn't a bad sign come delivery time...

With my 2 previous pregnancies I had bad heartburn almost right from the start.  This pregnancy, the heartburn has been oddly absent.  Or should I say had been.  The last couple days everything has been giving me heartburn.  Granted, I'm not always eating the healthiest things, although I'm trying.  Oh well.  I'd rather have the heartburn than the barfing!

At my latest appointment my ultrasound results were ALL GOOD.  I was so happy, as I'd worked myself up into worrying about it.  The bloodwork results weren't back, but I'm not worried about them at all.  It was just so awesome to get to see our baby wiggling around.  God sure is amazing.  It's hard for me to believe the miracle that is occuring inside me right now!!  I just can't wait to start feeling our baby move.

Until then...I'll keep poppin' the Tums!

Dear Baby~

Dear Baby Nuz, 

Sometimes it's hard to tell if time is flying by or crawling slowly.  When I have my moments/hours/days of not feeling well, time definitely creeps by.  But when I think about holding you in my arms, it feels like time stands still!  (When I look into your bedroom...which for now is the catch-all room, I realize we need time to crawl just a little bit!!)

I don't accomplish a lot these days.  Work completely drains me, and I hardly have any energy when I get home.  When I do have a day that I can accomplish something, I usually end up not feeling well.  Luckily your Daddy is so understanding and compassionate.  He cheers for me and says what a wonderful wife I am when I manage to finish a load of laundry!

Right now I'm watching the Giants first football game of the season while Daddy sleeps off his night at work.  As I'm sitting here, I've been trying to be really still to see if I can feel any flutters of movement from you.  I can't.  But I know I will soon, and I can't wait!

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment and I can't wait to hear your heart beating again.  It's got to be the best sound in the world right now!

Well here I go, to do some dishes.  I have to accomplish something today.  But seriously, growing a baby, day in and day out...that's quite the accomplishment, right?!  I love you baby!!

Love,

Mommy

So how far along am I?

The answer?  Who knows!  :)  My original due date of March 17, 2011 has now (because of ultrasound measurements) been pushed up to March 11, 2011.  That puts me at 14 weeks tomorrow!  I lost almost a whole week of pregnancy in there!  But I'm not getting my hopes up; it's probably likely to change back at some point!

All I know for sure is I got to see my baby fluttering around today!  And it looks like such a real baby!  When the tech first put the ultrasound tool thing to my stomach, we saw the baby right away, and it jumped!  I think we scared it!  We could see the heartbeat going strong at 163bpm.

I'm slightly nervous until my appointment on Monday.  Obviously hoping for no neural tube issues.  It's so hard not to worry!

Wanna see pictures???

Great profile shot!

We watched the baby move its hand from all the way down by its side, up to its face!  We could see all the individual fingers!  So cute!

Camp

We just (well, several hours ago) returned from our 6-day Labor Day camping adventure.  Although I had to return to work (twice) during the trip, it was still wonderful.  I have the fifth load of laundry in the washer.  (Not all from camping...I'm also doing sheets and stuff...)  I'm not completely unpacked, but mostly.  The refrigerator is cleaned out.  There are a few camping dishes yet to be washed.  I am tired.

We got to spend time with our nephews and niece, lots of family and tons of friends.  There were lots of camp fires, s'mores, mountain pies and junk food.  Also lots of chipmunks, skunks, owls, geese and dogs.

Of course, I couldn't find my camera before we left, so I have no pictures.  But I've been so lazy lately I probably wouldn't have taken many anyway.  (Have you noticed?  No pictures on this blog for a looooong time.  I'm sorry.  I'll remedy that soon!)

I felt really good for the majority of the trip.  Today, after packing up, driving home, unpacking and doing some cleaning...I'm not feeling so good.  But hopefully I just need a good night's sleep.

Pizza's on the way and John & I are vegging for the night.  Back to real life tomorrow, and I'm not feeling ready.  But I am anxious for Thursday - Ultrasound Day!!