I'm Trying

I can be happy most of the time. But it's hard sometimes. Right now, I feel like the rest of my life will be like this...sad days to remember. November 10th, our anniversary, is when I found out I was pregnant. Now it's going to be a sad day to remember. November 25th, 2 days before Thanksgiving, was the day I lost my baby. That makes all those days surrounding Thanksgiving sad for me. Then I'm thrown right into the Christmas season, which is all about a baby. And it's just hard. I know that I'll be pregnant again, and John and I will have a family. But right now, it just hurts so much, it's hard to imagine how happy we could possibly be in the future. I'm missing my baby. I would be 11 weeks pregnant now. I'm not angry for what was taken, I'm just so sad. And today it's really hitting me hard.