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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Working Mom

Working Mom.  For real?

While battling my way in the door tonight with JJ in his carseat, his massive diaper bag, my purse, water bottle and breast pump, I realized something.  I am a working Mom.

Granted, I'm only working 2 days a week.  But I think it still counts.

A few weeks before I was scheduled to head back to work from maternity leave, I woke up in the middle of the night.  I was about to have a panic attack thinking about going to work and leaving my baby.  I made my way to the living room (so as not to disturb my sleeping baby and hubby) and had myself a good cry.  A really good cry.

Things looked a little better in the morning, but I still worried myself almost sick about going back to work.

Truth be told, I'm very torn about working.  I told John yesterday that if I didn't like my job, I would not want to be working.  But I do.  I love my job and all the people there. If JJ wasn't around, it's exactly the place I'd like to be.  But I miss that boy so much when I'm not with him!

I mean, come on...who wouldn't want to spend every waking moment with this cutie?!

This has given me a whole new perspective on all those working mothers who left their babies with me over the years.  Many of them didn't even know me the morning they first dropped their child off in my room.  Many of them had never left their child for any period of time.  I'm so blessed to be able to leave JJ with my parens, where I know he's getting all the snuggles and kisses he'd be getting from me.

Well this working Mom has been up for far too many hours.  It's bedtime.  :)

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