inside out

I wore my shirt inside out for half the day today.  You may think that would be an indicator of how my day went, but that's surprisingly not true.  My Monday was great.  It was the first official day of our summer program at work, and the first sprinkler day!  My kids all loved the water and we had a blast.

I just ate (for dinner) a small bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos.  I stumbled across them at a pizza shop last night and convinced John to buy them for me.  It seems they can only make that kind (my favorite kind) in small bags, then include them in multi-packs.  Frustrating.

My feet are up for the night.  Tomorrow is my day off, so I'll get chores done then.  I feel like I still need to recover from our weekend in Rochester!  I'll probably do some more photo editing tonight.  And maybe post some more pictures.  We'll see how ambitious I feel.

Wine Tour

On our recent trip to Rochester we spent some time at a winery, having a tour.

It wasn't exactly the season to see much, although much is going on.  Check out these teeny tiny grapes.

It was beautiful to see the acres and acres of grapes growing.

But my favorite part, by far, was seeing the wooden barrels they use to store certain kinds of wine.

I'm hoping we can get a chance to go in the fall sometime, and see the whole process!

Guarantee

Life doesn't come with a guarantee.

I mean, it does.  The major one.  Death.  We're guaranteed death.

We're also guaranteed eternal life.  If we so choose.

(I guess we have eternal life regardless, but good or bad depends.)

But I'm not talking about spiritual things.

Or afterlife things.

I'm talking about life.

And nothing is guaranteed:

Try hard, you still might fail.

Achieve a dream, and it can be snatched from you.

Pray and pray, but still fear and worry.

Want and desire, life still might pass you by.

And that's life.

Uncertain, Unknown, Unkind and Unguaranteed.

Would we really want it any other way?

Top Two Tuesday!

Top 2 Reality Shows you would be on.

If, ya know, it was possible!

#1 - American Idol

It's no secret that my never-to-be-realized dream is to be on American Idol.  I'll admit, I probably wouldn't do too well with the constructive criticism, but I really think I would enjoy the rest of the experience.  I would not want to be famous, however.  Ah well.

#2 - Ace of Cakes

I'm no slouch in the baking department, however, I am nowhere near being on Ace of Cakes.  But it just looks like such a fun place to work, and I think my creativity would be enhanced if I were surrounded by such seriously talented cake makers.  A girl can dream!

Which 2 reality shows would you choose??

Blogger Templates

L.E.N.S. Photo Challenge - Summer!

this, to me, is summer.  fun times at the lake with my hubby.

some color adjustment (blues!) and vignette.

self portrait, if you couldn't tell.

visit jenny's blog

Before & After

This is the before picture:

And after messing around for a while in Photoshop, this is the after picture!

(A tutorial from MckMama didn't hurt either.)

mishmash

I saw a woman last night.  I recognized her kids first.  Then I saw her and realized I read her blog.  That was weird. 

This week has felt insanely long, even though I was out of my classroom for a lot of it.  I worked on VBS stuff for work, took a day-long advanced first aid and CPR/AED class and left early yesterday.  Now I have a 3-day weekend.  Today we're going to the lake, then to a softball game tonight.  I've got a little cleaning to do, since some people are coming over after the game.

I need ideas for Father's Day.  I am so not a good gift-picker-outer. 

This weekend is pretty much plan-free.  Just the way I like it.  I may hit up the Farmer's Market tomorrow, and church is a definite on Sunday.  Besides that, it's a blank slate.

I have a few posts in the back of my mind, but I need to do some picture editing.  Possibly this weekend!  I still feel like there's so much I need to learn about photoshop!  I may check out some video lessons on youtube.

Oh yes, how could I forget?!  My nephew Caleb, who is amazing us all by becoming stronger everyday, fighting against SMA, stood for 2 minutes without his braces on!!!!!!!  This is amazing!  He works so hard everyday and I am so proud of him!  Please pray for him, that he'll continue to gain strength, that he'll be healed of SMA, and that a cure will be found soon!!  Thank you!!

due date

I'm tired of living vicariously through other people.

I'm tired of having to be happy for other people.

I'm tired of my someday never coming.

I'm tired of feeling empty.

I'm tired of feeling unfulfilled.

I'm tired of disappointment.

I'm tired of being sad.

Today, a due date.  That just emphasizes what I don't have.

let me count the ways...

Welcome to the first Fruit of the Spirit bloghop started by Laura!  My thoughts on this love post began yesterday.

While driving home from work I was thinking about God's love compared with our 'human' love.  When I actually stop and think about it, like, really think about it, I'm blown away by the love that God has for me.  For all of us.  I feel like all the traits of God are so intertwined, it's difficult to separate them.  For instance, when I think of his never-ending love, I'm immediately reminded that because of His amazing love, he has eternal forgiveness.  His mercy also knows no limit, and his grace is continuous.  I feel like they all go hand-in-hand.

But this post is about love!

I think the most amazing thing about God's love is how it shines through us and enables us to love the way that God loves.  There is no way (on earth) that I could love the way God wants me to.  His desire is for me to love my neighbor as myself.  Do you really get what that means??  Think about how much you love yourself.  And there's nothing wrong with that!  We are each amazing and unique.  We should love ourselves.  God wants us to.  But when we go beyond just loving ourselves as God wants us to and move into that selfish, me first, nobody's getting in my way kind of love, think again.  I think maybe that's why God put that "neighbor as theyself" verse in there.  As kind of a reality check.

I feel like I'm chasing bunnies now.

Back to loving others.

We all have those people in our lives that rub us the wrong way.  We avoid crossing their path in the market.  Their conversation focuses only on them and how their situation/experience/life is so much worse/better/difficult than anyone else's.  They drain the life right out of you.

God has not given us a suggestion.  It's not just a good idea that might be fun to try out every now and then.  It's not just a Sunday-only rule that we can avoid the rest of the week.  God commands us to love.  And not just to love, but to love like God loves.  God's love is an everlasting, never changing, lay-down-your-life-for-another kind of love.

Sound too hard?  Yeah, it does to me too.  This is definitely not an area that I excel in.  Feeling convicted?  Yeah, me too.  I need to work on this.

This kind of love does not come from within us.  It comes from God loving through us.  When you think there's a person that you just can't love, you're right!  Stop trying on your own.  Let God love through you.  How do you want God to love you?  Think about that.  Then let God love that person, using you as an instrument of love.

So, who's your neighbor?  Will you let God love through you this week?

stream of consciousness

It's a curly hair kind of day.  And I can't believe the high is only in the 60's.  Yuck.  But the weekend is supposed to be nice, and we have a graduation party to attend, so that's good.

We're taking a semi-impromptu vacation in a few weeks.  I say semi because we just booked it.  But we've been contemplating and considering for quite some time.  Now I have not very long to drop a little weight and fit nicely into my summer clothes.  We made a no-fast-food-till-after-the-trip pact last night.

There's a little black cat sitting on our front porch right now.  It sounded as if it fell off the roof, that's what made me look outside.  I thought maybe a branch had fallen.  But no, just a tiny little cat with big eyes.  I will not be sucked in.  I don't think Zoe would appreciate a cat in the house.

I worked on inventory in my classroom alllll day on Monday.  Not only did I get everything accounted for (11 full pages!) but I got things organized that hadn't been previously.  Such a nice feeling!  Now I have some household organizing to do.

John and I had the whole day off together yesterday and we had such a good day.  Nothing too high-stress.  We went for a couple drives, ate Jumpin' Jacks (this was before the pact!), visited my parents and Olivia and took a mini hike in the Plotterkill Preserve. 

Now, back to work.  For both of us.  I can't wait for vacation!!!

Fear

Fear has become an ever-present aspect of my life, in just a few main ways.  I live constantly with the fear that I won't get pregnant.  Likewise, I live constantly with the fear that I will get pregnant.  And the fear that I may lose another baby.

Is fear a sin?  I don't know.  Does it mean I'm not trusting God?  I don't know.  I try.  I really do.  But obviously if fear is controlling so much of my life, I'm not trusting Him like I should be.

I'm here, once again facing a due date that should have been a happy occasion.  Once again just willing the day to pass so I can get on with my life.  I was going to keep this date underwraps.  To try and be strong and go through it, just John and me.  I don't even know if anyone knows the date, and that's the way I wanted it.

But trying to be strong when I'm not is dumb.  I don't want to need the support of others, but I need it nonetheless.  I don't want to have this day that only reminds me of what I don't have.  But the day will come, regardless.  Then a month later, I'll have another day, that should have been my first baby's first birthday.

The thunder and rain today fits my mood.

This is my 200th blog.  Some of those blogs were not posted because I kept them private.  But this is my 200th blog written.  I was trying to think of something fun to do, that's why I haven't posted in a few days.  But this is what's on my heart today, and I've got to get it out.

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

~William Shakespeare

dream (basket) weaver

To understand the true significance of what I'm going to tell you, you'll need some background information.

1. I never win anything.
2. I love free stuff.  (Who doesn't?)
3. My sisters and I were recently lamenting the fact that we have no baskets.  My Mom (and Mother-in-law, and other women their age) has all these baskets.  She uses them for bread, chips, pretty much anything.

So there I was, mourning the fact that I had no baskets, as well as the fact that I never win anything.  I was reading through some blogs and came across a giveaway.  Now, I've seen giveaways on blogs before.  Plenty of times.  But I never enter.  Well, I rarely enter.  I just never feel like I even have a chance of winning.

(Side note: this lack of entering could, just possibly, have a direct impact on my never winning anything.)

This contest, however, didn't have many people entered yet.  So I entered.  All I had to do was comment.  As many times as I wanted!  And comment I did.  Many times.  I lost track of how many times.  But I wanted to win!!

Well it just so happens that entering a contest gives you a better chance at winning!  And I won!  A $40 gift certificate to http://www.csnstores.com/!  And this is what I bought!

I love my baskets, and I was so happy to get them this week!  A big thank you to Elizabeth over at http://www.harmonysong.blogspot.com/!  I still can't believe that I won!!!