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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Pregnancy Question Progression

There's no doubt most expectant mothers receive all the same questions and comments throughout their pregnancies.  And I've come to realize that these inquiries follow some type of pattern.  I'm sure I've been guilty in the past of these none-too-subtle remarks.  But you really notice them when you're on the receiving end any time you walk out the door!

It all starts at the beginning.  Even before people know that you're pregnant.  As soon as you tie the knot, anyone and everyone thinks they're entitled to know, "When are you going to have kids?"  And the even more personal, "Are you trying?"  Let me fill you in on a little tidbit of knowledge that I didn't even have to be pregnant to know: neither one of these questions is appropriate!  Unless you're a very close friend or family member, those words should never cross your lips.  Sometimes even if you feel entitled to such information, you better think before you ask.

Once you do share the blessed news with the world, be prepared.  It only gets more personal.  "Were you trying?"  "Was this planned?"  To which I would kindly reply, "Is that any of your business?"  Okay, no, I didn't say that to anyone.  Atleast not out loud.  But a braver person probably would.  Honestly, this question should never be asked by anyone.  Because, simply, it's none of your business.  If someone feels so inclined to tell you about how much of a surprise their pregnancy was, great.  They shouldn't have to do so as a result of your questioning!

Next comes the due date inquiry.  I have probably uttered the words, "March 17th," about five thousand, six hundred and seventy-two times in the past 8 months.  And that's not something I would change!  Being asked my due date doesn't bother me at all because first, it shows people care.  And second, there are so many pregnant women right now, I understand forgetting someone's due date! 

Then the one everyone has an opinion on: "Will you find out what you're having?"  Not a bad question, but just remember when asking it, the choice is not up to you.  Hearing everyone's ideas on why you should or shouldn't find out the gender of your yet-unborn child is not really any pregnant woman's idea of a good time.  If you've gotta ask, please don't try to convince them otherwise after you hear the answer!

I'll pause here to mention the all-encompassing question that an expectant mother hears more than any other question.  This can be posed at any point during pregnancy and beyond.  "How are you feeling?"  I've given very differing answers at certain points in my pregnancy.  First trimester and beginning of the second?  I felt crappy.  Second and Third trimester?  I felt good!  Now?  I'm just ready to have this baby.  I appreciate being asked how I'm feeling.  Let's me know people are thinking of me.  :)

There are other random questions which present themselves near the end of pregnancy.  "Are you ready?"  "Are you nervous?"  "Are you still here???"  "When are you gonna have that baby already?"  (Believe me, if I knew the answer to that question, I'd be a much happier camper.)  There's nothing really wrong with any of these questions, but by this point chances are Mom is more than ready to have that baby out of her belly and into her arms.  Being continually asked about it may only add to the frustration! 

There are other questions...but right now I'm being attacked by acid reflux and feet in my ribs.  As I listen to the icy, sleety snow falling outside I think to much as I want to have this baby soon, I really hope it's not tonight!  What nasty weather.

But I won't go without letting you know the worst question ever to ask a person who isn't pregnant: "When are you due?"  Seriously.  If you don't know for absolute darn sure, don't even ask!!


Jonnie Fry said...

I really hope little one waits until better weather to meet you face to face! Can't wait to hear that he has been born though!!

Kristi said...

I am so tired of having people ask if we are finding out what it is. I tell them that we are waiting and they try to change my mind. That's probably the most frustrating thing at this point. I know a lot of people who are kind of upset we aren't finding out all so that they can buy gender specific items, not thinking of what the parents want. I'm excited to wait and find out but wouldn't try convincing another mother to do the same...
I feel better now. lol Nice post!