...and the leg...

I will admit, my hospital stay after child birth was not at all what I expected.  Just to be clear, I loved the hospital, loved all the nurses, and the food was fantastic!  BUT...I had this issue.  Still have, in fact.

My left leg is numb.  When the nurse went to help me out of bed (probably around 9am, and I'd had him at 1:15) I hit the floor.  Literally.  My leg just crumpled underneath me.  Poor nurse, felt so bad.  I didn't hit the floor too hard, so I was ok.  We're considering a lawsuit.  (Haha...just kidding.)

From that point on, I was basically a prisoner of my bed.  The only times I got up were to use the bathroom, and I had to call a nurse, then let her know I needed 2 people to help me.  I used to be quite the modest person.  That kind of went out the window in the hospital!

I couldn't get up to get my baby out of his crib.  I couldn't get up to put him back in his crib.  I couldn't walk to my bag to get deodorant, socks or a snack.  I couldn't even stand to help change my baby's diaper.  In the words of one of my (wonderful) nurses, I was a hot mess.

So by Thursday, they brought me a walker.  This meant only one nurse had to assist me.  It was still difficult, and they didn't want me getting out of bed by myself, but it made me feel a little better.  The first time I used the walker, I got myself settled back in bed.  John was laying on the other bed with JJ.  The nurse, after assisting me, left the room.  And I broke down.

I cried because I felt helpless.  I cried because this was not the way I envisioned my post-delivery hospital stay.  I cried because looking at that walker made me feel sad.  I cried because I couldn't take care of my baby.

Here I was, facing going home in 24 hours, and I couldn't even carry my baby from the crib to the changing table.  On top of that, I didn't even know what was wrong with my leg.  None of the nurses had ever seen anything like it.  Not the most reassuring thing to hear over and over.

Thursday night I was evaluated by a neurologist and he pretty much diagnosed me with a stretched femoral nerve.  Most likely caused by the 2 hours of pushing.  He said it could be days, it could be weeks, it could be months, but it should get better.  I will admit, that made me feel better!

So Friday morning I decided I was going to do it all myself, with the walker.  I knew I was going home, and I knew I needed to at least be able to take care of myself, even if I couldn't completely care for JJ yet.  I got more comfortable with the walker, and I came home with my very own walker.  Yippee.

Once we'd been home for a little while (and I'd had a shower!) John headed to the drug store for me.  While there, he called asking if I wanted a cane.  I decided yes, that would probably come in very handy, especially in small spaces like the bathroom.  So that afternoon (Friday) I started just using the cane.

John had to work 12 hours on Saturday.  Fortunately my parents dropped everything they were supposed to be doing and came to help me out.  By late morning I was hobbling around the house with no cane, just keeping my leg locked when I walked.  I even carried JJ (for the first time!) from his room out to the living room.  Best feeling in the world!!

I was feeling so good about my progress that when the physical therapist called to set up an in-home appointment I said I didn't need her.  In hindsight, probably a mistake.  But for now that's where we are. 

When my leg is too bent, it will not support me at all.  So I just have to be very conscious of how I'm walking, especially when carrying JJ.  Some days I feel like it's getting better.  Some days I feel like recovery has kind of stalled.  I'm taking it day by day and hoping soon this will all be a distant, not-so-fond memory.  I'm definitely asking for prayer that this leg heals quickly!