the stairs

Our upstairs is basically unused.  Except for storage.  There are 2 bedrooms and a half bath up there, but we don't use them.  All we do is store stuff.  There are 2 twin-sized beds upstairs.  Lots and lots of blankets.  Christmas stuff.  Baby stuff.  Diamond Dogs stuff.  Craft and sewing stuff.  Holiday/seasonal stuff.  Computer printer, desk, extra kitchen stuff, pictures, cards (I rarely throw one out) lots of clothes...it's a mess.

And the stairs leading up there?  Well, if I have something that needs to go up, it gets put on the stairs.  There's a door, so I just close it.  And the stairs accumulate more, and more, and, well, you can probably picture it.  Are you picturing it?  Picture it worse.  It was really bad.  So today I tackled it, and it honestly didn't take me too long.

There was lots of stuff on the stairs.  Easter egg dying kits.  Christmas cards.  (For real!)  Random baby clothes.  Little paintbrushes.  Christmas ornaments.  Sudoku books.  A box of Q-Tips.  It was dangerous to try and climb them.  And with my fire fighter hubby...well, let's just say I know better than to let it get like that!

In the midst of all of this, I came across a stack of cards.  This stack of cards has been moved from place to place in our house, but I didn't realize they were on the stairs.  I knew right away when I saw them what they were.  I opened the first one.  It was a "Congratulations!  A new baby is on the way!" kind of card.  The date inscribed inside was November 2008.  The next card I opened was a condolence card.  With the same date written inside.  I considered just putting the stack aside and dealing with it later...but instead I grabbed the cards and sat down in the living room.

I read through each one of those cards.  Some congraulations, but most condolence.  My first pregnancy, ending because it was ectopic.  I was surprised at the range of people that sent me cards.  Everyone from family, to friends, to church family, to co-workers, to parents from Pineview...sharing in my sorrow, believing and hoping for the future, offering a shoulder to cry on, sharing their own stories of loss.  I cried through most of them.

Even though the losses I suffered have most definitely been soothed by having JJ here to love and hold, there are times when I cry.  Times when I just sit and mourn.  You see, even though it has made it easier, it's also made it harder.  Because now I know.  I'm experiencing life with JJ, and I know what I'm missing out on with my other babies.  So every once in awhile, I give in to those emotions and I just cry. 

I can't believe it's been almost 4 years.  It doesn't seem possible.  But God has been faithful, and He does keep His promises!

..a little update..

Time to write, but nothing to say.

Lots to say, but no time to write.

Seems to be the story of my life lately.  Deep thoughts escape me when I actually get the chance to sit down and type.  So here goes the superficial what's-been-goin'-on lowdown.

This little boy...

...yes, him.  He's pretty much the best ever.  We're quite smitten.  And we're definitely the 'our kid is the cutest, smartest, best kid ever' type of parents.  Lately he's been walking so fast he's almost running.  Especially when Daddy is chasing him!  He loves to play with toys, as well as anything that isn't a toy.  Trucks and balls are his favorite, and book reading has become a favorite as of late also.

Before bed JJ has a new routine, now that bottles are a thing of the past.  (He was still getting a nighttime bottle until just a little while ago...Mommy couldn't give it up:)  He gets a snack and drink, then brushes his teeth.  If it's a bath night, he gets a tubby.  Then into his pj's he goes.  We read a book together (always the same book) then he goes to bed.  Still has his binky at bedtime (and naptime) but I'm ok with that.  I'm thinking maybe at 18 months we'll try to give it up.  Or maybe not.

He's a picky, picky eater!!!  Very frustrating for me.  I try to do what I know I should (give him what we're eating, and don't make something special for him) but the kid doesn't like anything.  No chicken, no beef, no soup, very limited vegetables.  What he does like?  Nutri-Grain bars, yogurt, crackers, bread, most fruit...but anything can change at any given moment.  Hit or miss things are broccoli, cucumber, cheese, tomato...and a variety of other things.

This summer has been fun with lots of swimming at Grammy & Grampy's, playing with cousins, learning to swing a bat, playing in the backyard, and just plain having fun.  Oh yeah, JJ has something else he loves to play with now:

Yes, he loves the iPhone.  In particular, the PBS Kids app.  Who wouldn't love watching SuperWhy at any time of the day or night?!

That there is a boy that needs a haircut!













And somebody needs to start taking picture of Mommy with the boy!