1978-2013

My brother and my son, playing the guitar together.

 

 

On Monday, December 16, 2013, my brother was in an accident while working as a State Trooper on the NYS Thruway. 

 

He died the next day due to his injuries.

 

I have a lot I want to say about it.  Many things floating around in my head.  But I can't really get them out right now.

 

So for now, this is it.  I still have a hard time believing it's real.

mishmash

• sometimes September feels quite a bit like January to me...a fresh start, new goals, exciting ideas to tackle...I suppose this comes from working a job with a September-August calendar.
• potty training...isn't happening yet.  the potty and underwear have been purchased.  somebody needs to get on the ball.  *cough*JJ*cough*
• grace.  given to me.  how can I not then turn and give it myself?
• sometimes rising early is worth it for the quiet and peace.
• positivity breeds positivity.  and I love positivity.
• sometimes it scares me to think of the world my child is growing up in.  when I feel that way, I stop and pray.  I pray that he will be kind.  that he will be good.  and that he will always put Jesus first.
• cicadas are gross and I'm glad they hide for 17 years.  and they can continue to live while missing most of their body.  don't ask me how I know this.
• the end.

photo of the summer!

where did this big boy come from?!?

.time for bed.

This is the part where I say, Wow, what a bad blogger I am!  I can't believe it's been 6 months since I last posted!  Now I'm turning over a new leaf, yada, yada, yada...)

Best time of day for me?  Reading to and rocking with JJ before bed.  Especially lately - he's turned into quite the little snuggler!  There are a few books we vary between, but almost always in the mix is Time for Bed.

(I'm trying to add a link here but it's not working.  Boo.)

Hey!  There it is!  Affiliate link, ya'll.  My first one.

 

Anyway, this book, always in the line up.  Very simple - each page is a different animal, a Mom and Baby, talking about how it's time for bed.  ("It's time for bed little mouse little mouse, darkness is falling all over the house.")

 

He's always liked the book, points out the moon, the stars, makes the animals noises.  But lately he's started doing the cutest thing.  When we turn each page he quickly points to the bigger of the 2 animals and says, "Mama!"  I say, "Yes, that's the Mama (insert animal here)."  He then quickly points to the smaller animal and says, "JJ!"  I then say, "Yes, that's the JJ!"  It is too adorable and something I never want to forget.  I also never want to forget the way he turns around on my lap when book time is over and snuggles in for some rocking time.  Sometimes I sing, sometimes it's quiet, sometimes I talk about what we did that day.  Special times. 

warranty

Just had to buy a new hair straightener.  I swear, I buy one at least every year.  This time, one side stopped heating up.  Come to find out, that really makes a difference in how well it straightens hair.  Who knew?  Anyway, this time I paid $5 to get the extended warranty which lasts 2 years.  I figure if I buy it, I probably won't have to use it.  But it's there if I need it!

 

I'm about to eat some deep-fried mozzarella sticks for lunch.  There's one New Year's resolution out the window.  I might follow that up with some frozen Heath bars.  I'm also not jumping into my upstairs cleaning like I wanted to.  Resolution number 2, not going as I had anticipated!  Maybe I'll be in the mood after the junk food.

 

JJ's in bed with a fever.  Hoping it's short-lived. 

 

Got a car wash today.  The car looks great.  Found out JJ doesn't like car washes so much.

 

Ahh, I smell the grease calling.  Happy Friday.

 

 

..a little update..

Time to write, but nothing to say.

Lots to say, but no time to write.

Seems to be the story of my life lately.  Deep thoughts escape me when I actually get the chance to sit down and type.  So here goes the superficial what's-been-goin'-on lowdown.

This little boy...

...yes, him.  He's pretty much the best ever.  We're quite smitten.  And we're definitely the 'our kid is the cutest, smartest, best kid ever' type of parents.  Lately he's been walking so fast he's almost running.  Especially when Daddy is chasing him!  He loves to play with toys, as well as anything that isn't a toy.  Trucks and balls are his favorite, and book reading has become a favorite as of late also.

Before bed JJ has a new routine, now that bottles are a thing of the past.  (He was still getting a nighttime bottle until just a little while ago...Mommy couldn't give it up:)  He gets a snack and drink, then brushes his teeth.  If it's a bath night, he gets a tubby.  Then into his pj's he goes.  We read a book together (always the same book) then he goes to bed.  Still has his binky at bedtime (and naptime) but I'm ok with that.  I'm thinking maybe at 18 months we'll try to give it up.  Or maybe not.

He's a picky, picky eater!!!  Very frustrating for me.  I try to do what I know I should (give him what we're eating, and don't make something special for him) but the kid doesn't like anything.  No chicken, no beef, no soup, very limited vegetables.  What he does like?  Nutri-Grain bars, yogurt, crackers, bread, most fruit...but anything can change at any given moment.  Hit or miss things are broccoli, cucumber, cheese, tomato...and a variety of other things.

This summer has been fun with lots of swimming at Grammy & Grampy's, playing with cousins, learning to swing a bat, playing in the backyard, and just plain having fun.  Oh yeah, JJ has something else he loves to play with now:

Yes, he loves the iPhone.  In particular, the PBS Kids app.  Who wouldn't love watching SuperWhy at any time of the day or night?!

That there is a boy that needs a haircut!













And somebody needs to start taking picture of Mommy with the boy!

..cutie..

The time has come. 

JJ does some pretty cute stuff now-a-days.  Lots of it I think it probably only cute to me in that "he's-my-kid-so-every-move-he-makes-is-cute" kind of way.  And I know everyone says their kid is the cutest, and everyone says that everyone says it...but you don't understand.  It's really true in our case.

So I've decided to start writing some of the cute things JJ does for 3 reasons: So I won't forget; Because he really is the cutest thing ever; And...oh yeah, he's adorable.

Tonight I was running out to grab some McDonalds for dinner.  I grabbed my wallet, phone and keys.  JJ saw what I had in my hands and he left the kitchen headed for the living room.  I didn't know what he was doing, but I thought he might want to come with me (and I was hoping for a fast trip) so I hurried out the door.  Right as I was closing the door behind me I saw him reappear in the kitchen carrying my purse.  He knew I needed it if I was leaving the house!  !!!  I had to open the door back up and give him a big kiss because he's so smart and oh-so-cute!!

Whenever JJ sees something he wants (usually food!) he stands there signing "please" until he gets it!  So cute!  He did it in the grocery store today too!  (He did not get what he was asking for - haha!)

JJ knows what to do with an iPhone now.  He pushes the button to make the screen come on, and tries to swipe his finger across.  It is so cute!

July 2012

..this face..

When I see this face...

I can't help but remember...

That God always keeps his promises.



"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

mishmash

The snow is falling.  The most significant snowfall we've had, well, all season!  My kitchen is stocked and the Jeep is full of gas and tucked safely away in the garage.  I'm happy to stay inside and have nowhere to go.  Except for taking JJ out to play, which happened just a little while ago.  I layered him up and pulled him around the yard in a laundry basket.  He loved it, Zoe chased us around, then it was naptime.

We're all over the sickness that descended upon our house last week.  Everyone is happy and healthy right now.  And speaking of happy, our little boy is the happiest little boy ever!  And one of the messiest!

He also must be in the throws of a growth spurt.  Lots of eating and lots of sleeping!  This morning, the breakfast that JJ and I usually split, went solely to him.  If this is a sign of things to come, I think he's going to eat us into the poor house!  Seriously, between last night and this morning, it's like he can't get enough to eat!  We'll see how he likes the enchiladas for dinner tonight!

I'm pondering the dilemma of wanting to get some 'snow' pictures with my new camera yet not wanting to get my new camera wet.  Hmmm...

JJ and I did a huge grocery day on Monday.  Lots of coupons and sales.  Between ShopRite and Price Chopper I spent $128.10 and saved $137.88.  I have meals for probably about a month, as well as breakfast, snack and lunch stuff.  It was an awesome day and JJ was a real trooper.  One and a half hours out at ShopRite, home for a nap, then an hour out at Price Chopper!  Won't have to do that again for awhile!  It's nice to have tons of food in the house, and to have my menu made up.  The worst part of cooking is trying to figure out what to make.  This way, it's already decided for me ahead of time.  Love doing that.

Now I need to finish up some laundry and dishes.  But I'm so tired, I just feel like taking a little nap while JJ takes his nap.  Isn't that what they say to do?  Sleep when the baby sleeps?  He still qualifies as a baby, right?  At least for a few more weeks...

Eleven (?!?!) Months

Eating

Food is not going quite as well as before; and I don't really know why!  One day he'll love something, the next day it's on the floor.  (Literally.  Something we're working on.)  So every day is hit or miss.  Some new things that he's had and really usually loves are kiwi, watermelon, peaches, apple butter, toast and NutriGrain bars.  He still gets formula 4 times a day, and I cannot wait until we can switch to milk!!

Sleeping

Not much to say here.  Amazing sleeper, that boy is.  Even when he's sick he's a great sleeper.  The mysterious 'sleeping cough' he had at the time of his last update evolved into an 'all the time' cough and required a trip to the doctor...his first ever sick child visit.  He got an antibiotic and after a few days, it cleared up.

There is something funny he does at nap time now.  I lay him down and cover him, and before I'm even out of the room he's standing up and pulling on his mobile.  He loves it and thinks it's so funny.  It usually takes about 15 minutes before he gives up and falls asleep. 

Playing & Developing

He is all over the place.  I know I've said that before, but now I really mean it!  The bathroom door and our bedroom door are always closed.  We have a gate we occasionally put up blocking the laundry room so he won't go play in Zoe's water dish.  He crawls like a pro, pulls up on everything, including walls and Zoe, and he cruises along furniture all the time now.  He'll even stand for a second or so at a time.  I can't believe how much he's changed in a month.  We bought him a new toy that he can push and walk behind.  He loves it!  He still likes lots of his other toys, as well as lots of our stuff.  The phone, remote, they're still favorites, as well as empty boxes, utensils, etc.  He loves to clap and talk. 

We're definitely starting to see JJ's determination and stubbornness!  Now the real work begins: trying to guide him while not breaking that drive that we see.  It can be frustrating at times.  Like when he touches the floor lamp that he's not supposed to touch for the tenth time in a row, then looks at me to see what I'm going to do about it.  He's a little stinker.  He also gets into these phases where he pulls on Zoe's fur and does not want to stop.  So we're just trying to be consistent with him and show him the right way to do things.  Sometimes he gets a little hand slap, but that doesn't seem to phase him in the least. 

Stats

No well child visit until one year, but when we had his sick visit, he was actually down a little bit for weight.  I'm pretty sure that's because of his non-stop activity level!  To be expected.  Unfortunately, JJ had the stomach bug this week.  He threw up twice.  Even more unfortunately, Mommy & Daddy both got it as well, and were laid up much longer than JJ.  (I still am not fully recovered.)  It was his first time throwing up, and it wasn't too bad.  Except that he threw up all over me.  I'm hoping that's the worst of the sickness for this season. 

I said to John today, can you believe in only one month he's going to be One?!  I honestly can't believe we've had him in our lives for almost a full year now.  He really makes our lives worthwhile, and we both just can't get enough of him.  I started crying today just thinking about it.  He's the best thing ever, and he makes everyday better, even sick days.

Don't Forget

The way he loves to have something in his mouth when he's crawling around the house.  A wooden spoon.  His tylenol container.  Lotion.  Various toys.  May not be the safest thing...but it's so cute.

How he crawls away from me when it's time to get out of the tubby.  We have shower doors, so he crawls to the far end and looks back at me and smiles.  Little stinker.

His naughty little habit of pulling Zoe's hair out.  We have such a good dog.

The binky game we play, when he puts it in my mouth, then grabs it back and puts it in his own mouth.

The way he laughs.  It's just too cute.

The way he claps his hands.

How he loves to turn off light switches.  I'll turn lights on, just so he can turn them off.

How he buries his head in Clifford.  He loves him.

How he sits up at naptime, then just lays his head down on his legs and falls asleep. Flexible little thing!

The mad dash when he see the fridge door open.  He wants to play in there sooo badly.

That long tuft of hair.  That will be gone today.

How he loves to crawl into our room and play with Daddy's dresser.  Even when it's pitch black in there.  Even when Daddy is snoring away in the bed.

The face he makes when he tries a new food.  (Mandarin oranges, especially.)



Friday Phone Dump

looking for a burger

we're number one!

silly sleeper

i love clifford!

love this <3

love this too :)

Ten Months!

Once again, another month has come and gone, and I'm blown away by how fast it really does go!

Eating
Some new foods JJ has tried: couscous, chicken, broccoli, pasta, bread & jelly, quesadillas, grilled cheese, tomato soup...he likes lots of stuff!  He still likes baby food a lot, and when he was sick last week he mainly wanted only that.  He still loves his bottle, and he's doing well with water in a sippy cup. He also loves Gerber snacks...puffs, sticks (especially the cinnamon maple!) and wagon wheels.

Sleeping
Still great.  He's developed this cough he only does when he's sleeping.  I'm thinking either allergies or asthma.  His pediatrician thinks (from his last appointment) that he might have allergies.  So I put a humidifier in his room, and it seems to be helping!  Hopefully we can make it to his next appointment, and figure out what to do next!  He still sleeps great though, taking his 2 naps a day, and sleeping all night.  Last night he even feel asleep during his before bed bottle...he hasn't fallen asleep on me in a looong time.  I enjoyed it.  :)  He moves all over in his bed now, and if he does happen to sit up, sometimes he just leans forward and falls back to sleep that way.  Silly head!

Playing
This kid is all over the place.  And I love it!  Sometimes he listens well to us, other times not at all.  He loves to play in the laundry room, the bathroom and his bedroom.  He pulls himself up, mostly to his knees, sometimes to his feet.  He loves his toys, but it seems his favorite toy is Zoe.  He enjoys pulling her fur out.  Luckily, Zoe is a good, easy-going dog!  JJ loves his blanket and his Clifford.  His favorite toys are still those things that don't belong to him!  (Tupperware, remotes, phones, cords, computers.)

Developing
JJ will hold a phone up to the side of his head like he's talking into it.  When did he learn this?!  He has 6 teeth!  He pulls up, and will take some very unsteady steps if we're holding his hands.  I've been trying to teach him 'more' and 'all done' in sign language forever.  I think he's clapping for more and waving bye bye with both hands for all done.  Oh well, at least he's starting to get it!  He has been a little cranky/clingy the past couple days, but I think it may have to do with teeth. 

Stats
No doctor appointment until 1 year.  JJ did have a few days of fever last week.  No other symptoms, really, he ate and drank fine.  Just a fever of up to 103.  With Tylenol, you wouldn't even know anything was wrong.  We're so blessed with our special little boy.

outtakes:

 

Friday Phone Dump

Mommy's making dinner, Daddy's in the shower, JJ is in his room playing and reading books

grilled cheese is a winner!  (and yes the shirt and bib are both NY sports teams...)

Wordless Wednesday ~ Wake Up Edition

Friday Phone Dump

I'm slacking.  Two pictures in one week?  *hangs head in shame*

does this make me old?

JJ needs a friend for the cart at BJ's!

..just thankful..

So the other night I was sitting with JJ on the couch, feeding him his nighttime bottle.  He had his (absolute favorite) blue blanket in his hands and his chubby little fingers were holding it so tight.  He had it pulled up over his eyes and he was rubbing it against his face while his fingers held their grip.  His eyes were drooping and every once in a while I thought for sure he was out...then he would take another gulp and his eyes would flutter open for a few seconds more.

I sat there looking at his sweet little face, those pudgy little hands and his adorable feet, crossed at the ankles.  And the tears just came.  I honestly enjoy every moment with my little man.  And as I took in the moment, I was reminded of the days, weeks, months, years that I longed for this.  There were definitely days when I thought it would never happen.  And yet here I am. 

Tonight after his bottle we rocked and read Daddy Hugs 123, our (my?) favorite book for when Daddy isn't home at bedtime.  Then I sang "Jesus Loves Me" while he chewed on the book.  Again I was overtaken by the blessing that he is to me.  God knew exactly what I needed.  And while I still don't pretend to understand the circumstances, I am so, so, so grateful for our baby boy.  He is our heaven on earth.

Friday Phone Dump

nothing cuter!

present from Santa

potatoes

sunrise

sleeping

don't ask

in Mommy's trunk

cheeks!

coloring

Livy & Mommy

love the Thomas pj's!

big boy.  always smiling.

falling asleep on the floor

last drive :(

scissors

sitting up in bed.  crying.

my Christmas present :)

we're in for it!

I should not be at work on this date...

made by me!

sunrise

Thanksgiving shopping with the 'big kids'

walk on a nice winter day

monkey bread!